*gambar sekadar hiasan
**cerita ini merangkumi percampuran bahasa Melayu dan bahasa Inggeris mengikut keselesaan penulis.
Assalamualaikum dan salam sejahtera, Cerita ini agak panjang. Cerita ini tentang suami saya who is now my ex. Cerita dia mcm ni. Kami bahagia berkahwin selepas couple selama 2 tahun.
Kami tidak bertunang cuz we felt like its no use to do so after all. We don’t want to wait another few months then married , jadi kedua-dua belah pihak setuju untuk meneruskan perkahwinan.
I know him through some internships where I join in his company,suami adalah seorang yg funny. A kind man, gentleman to say. He was really charming I’m telling you, many of my colleagues even tried him but don’t know how he can be with me back then.
Thinking how our couple memories make me smile back then but now it’s just cries. Selepas berkahwin selama 2 tahun, kami masih lagi belum mempunyai anak. Banyak kali kami cuba, tetapi tiada lagi tanda2 saya mengandung. He was still there with me, love and care me even when I was at my lowest.
Alhamdulilah my boss was understandable and gave a few weeks for me to rest for my mental health. I don’t know back then my husband was really the whole husband material.
Kadang2 ibu buat family gatheing untuk kami adik beradik berkumpul. Ada sekali tu, gathering kami di chalet yg terkenal. Right now when I think back, I should’ve follow my guts. But what to do? I was in love badly with my husband and trust him my whole world.
It was night everyone was outside celebrating some of my niece’s birthday.Saya tidak nampak kelibat suami masa tu. Jadi saya keluar pergi mencari suami, saya masuk ruangan dalam chalet, tiba2 nampak suami keluar berduaan dengan kakak saya dr bilik kami. Masa tu mcm2 aku fikir tapi aku sabar dahulu.
“Sayang?” Saya tanya suami kenapa dia dengan kakak bersama keluar dr bilik? Suami bagitahu secara kebetulan jumpa kakak dan nak kongsi sesuatu berkenaan produk kecantikan yg kami gunakan bersama. Kakak nak gunakan sedikit produk saya sbb dia lupa bawa.
I trusted them, I gave a smile and nodded held my husband hand walks outside. That was the first sign that I didn’t realize cause who would suspect anything? Then there’s another occasions my husband had to go for business trip.
I know he always go business trip cause he is some kind of high department person. That year, I still can’t pregnant. I know he wanted a baby so badly. I didn’t think properly back then but I remember my sister also had business trip but she says it’s to another country.
No one suspected anything at this moment. Many times I realize that this coincidence have become too often, like how they went to lunch together they say they terserempak. Then how my sister have almost same things I have which my hubby brought for me.
I started feel like suspicious about my husband, he was still doing his role as a husband indeed. Pay my nafkah like always and affectionate. But there’s like something he was hiding, firasat istri.
I solat minta pertunjuk Allah, I nangis kat sejadah tu sebab kenapa I masih tak boleh pregnant. I nak kasi my husband happy, I nak tengok dia bahagia jugak even if my husband says that he doesn’t care as long as I’m with him. I’m really thankful towards Allah.
Berapa hari selepas I doa to Allah, I slowly dapat mimpi jawapan tapi I thought it’s just mainan syaitan. Orang cakap mimpi waktu 3am gitu itu semua pertunjuk tapi I tak percaya sangat. Kali memang I perasan masa suami dan kakak keluar lunch bersama. Takkan terserempak lagi, banyak sgt kebetulan yg meragukan.
I ikut mereka tanpa mereka perasan , I went to his office actually to tell him that my pregnancy test shows positive. But that day it turns to a whole nightmare.
I nampak kakak i peluk tangan suami sgt erat ketuka mereka berjalan. I saw how my husband treated her like how he treats me, I gasp and tears up there. I immediately went home told my boss I was sick. That night, I didn’t confront him. I want more evidence, he cuddle me like ways sayang me, care for me.
Malam tu I check phone suami, I don’t like checking my spouse phone cause I trust them. I saw his recent call and message is my sister, I istigfar panjang when I saw the text. It was all lbcah and like they’re a couple.
I place his phone aside after taking pictures of it with my phone immediately goes to the toilet and cries. He cheated on me and deceive me with kindness of his. Suami buat I mcm org bdoh sambil I usap perut I mengenang nasib anak yg bakal dilahirkan nanti.
I thought of confronting but no. I don’t want to for now. I told my best friend, sanggup seorang kakak buat adik dia gini. Days passes, I haven’t told him about my pregnancy. I used ask him if he has anything tell me but he answer me no and ask why
I shakes head, I want cry in front of him but I pull myself together and just hugged him. I say I love him very much. He smiles and macam biasa care and sayang me. This months passes, sampailah satu hari tak tahulah mungkin Allah yang gerakkan hati I.
I followed my husband after I went for my check up, I nampak suami check in hotel dengan kakak I seperti married couple. Suami bagitahu malam ni dia ada kerja overtime. I ekori mereka dari belakan secara senyap. Mereka berdua berhenti pada satu bilik. Pakaian yang mereka pakai sgt kemas sperti pakaian pergi ofis. Setelah mereka masuk bilik, I tnggu lama depan pintu bilik mereka. I dengar semua apa yg berlaku dalam bilik tersebut. Kakak seperti merayu pada suami meminta sesuatu . Ya, mereka trlanjur.
Bila mereka keluar bilik, mereka terkejut I ada di situ. My tears betrayed me. It started rolling down my cheeks fast as I just can’t believe, I saw how baju diorang yang kemas terus dah macam kena cakar kucing. “and all this while.. I thought I could trust you.” I said to him.
Kini I sudah ada semua bukti. I file kan penceraian di mahkamah, I rasa j1jik dengan perbuatan suami dan kakak . My mom find out, of course she was mad.
She even halau my sister out of the house since my sister still staying with my mom. I cried when I was at the court after it was sah we divorced. I minta maaf to him when I was his wife I failed to be one of the good wife like he wants till he had to cheat on me with my own blo0d sister.
After the divorce then he find out I was pregnant, he wants to get back. I say no, my heart has really broken into pieces. I am okay if it’s other women but my own sister.. I couldn’t. I couldn’t handle the pain, I shut myself out for a few months sampai my mom have to take care of me macam I really tak bermaya.
I thanked my mom and my besties for staying with me throughout my ups and downs. My darkest moments. Sekarang bekas suami I adalah abang ipar I setelah bernikah dengan kakak I. Hati I masih lagi sakit tapi I happy lihat kakak I akhirnya dapat apa yg dia impikan selama ini.
A perfect husband, he is indeed perfect one but when they had their wedding I didn’t attend. I just want be away, my mom didn’t want accept too but I told her I’m okay if that’s what both of them wants. Fast forward, Alhamdulilah now my son is 2 years old.
He is smart, handsome like my ex but I didn’t mind. He willingly to give duit nafkah, I accept it sincerely. He at times do come to my mom house to see my son but at times my son doesn’t know him and tend cries, he did feel heartbroken but I can’t do a thing about that.
I was pregnant alone, I was all alone. I independent myself with the help of my besties and mom. I remember my mom accompany me to give birth to my son. I felt like giving up but she pushes me tothe very end and now my beautiful healthy son out. To my mom, I thanked her so much for being there. Even though when I was having my shutting people out moment, you still keep coming to me and want be by my side. Ummi I love you so much.
I may seem cool but only Allah knows how broken my heart still when we go family gathering. Even some of my families members understand if I don’t come cause who can handle my ex kahwin with my sister? I’ll be the strongest women my son would ever see, I want him to be raise be a good man and treats women kind.
I want him to be love fully and care with. Even if I’m working Alhamdulilah my boss understand my situation. My work colleagues all supported me. My ex? He quitted the job and started at another place cause he can’t face them all. He terlalu malu he once said. But whatever it is..
I hope their marriage till Jannah and that he or she won’t hurt each other like how my ex hurts me. Thank you for reading my whole story.
– TIARA (Bukan nama sebenar).
Sumber : iium confession.
Antara komen ntizen:
Norfarah Iman :
I feel sad for you, but this makes my blood boil as well. Tak malu ke still nak show up kat family gathering apa semua after what they did? You yang sepatutnya pergi family gathering dan merpati dua sejoli tu boleh pergi reput kat tempat lain tak payah tunjuk muka. They should anggap diri diorang tu dah mati for your whole family, pergi lah berseronok berdua kat tempat lain. I’m so mad tak tentu pasal right now.
Dear confessor, Allah dah janji dengan kesusahan ada kesenangan. If you ever marry again, inshaAllah, akan lebih baik dari lelaki konon ‘husband material’ ni. Kalau tak kahwin sekalipun, Allah has promised, you will be happy again. Janji Allah itu pasti. Warmest virtual hug from an internet stranger for you.
Afham Edwards :
Hug hug n hugs… u are well grown lady who know what is the best for yourself. Not fall into kata2 pujuk rayu jantan keparat like your ex. You are strong to go through your horrible past, and now you are bless with cute smarty kid who would live you unconditionally.
Harap you living in peacefulness now. No more dramas from unnecessary people. Take care.
Alia Azwa :
Alhamdulillah you are so strong even I’m only a reader already burst into tears. Ya Allah, semoga awak kuat, semoga Allah gantikan kekecewaan dan kesakitan awak dengan kebahagiaan di dunia dan di akhirat. Hugs n kiss from me, alia.